Just had my first ever panic attack. (Please read if you want.)

Well.. Just had my first ever proper panic attack just now today. It felt like i was in a bad movie (How they depict panic attacks or things like that). Felt everything the people around me were saying mush together, Overlapping and amplify,

Felt spinning whirling in my head like fog or smoke really fast kinda like on the old batman tv show when they cut to another scene and the screen span although it was not my vision but a feeling in my head and my breathing rised to the point of hyperventilation.

I felt so panicked my head was turning all around me as if looking for an escape. I had to bite down on my lower lip until it was too painful to continue to calm myself down. It was a very scary feeling.

So it was very …… Eventful. Im going to eat some snacks, Listen to the disney Princess and the frog cd Bayou Boogie to hear Dr.Faciler sing. And play Sherlock Vs Jack the Ripper on my xbox cause ive almost finished it. And then later im going to eat a million onion rings.

Comments of support or stories of your similar experiences and how you coped would help me i think. And if any of you feel anything similar and want someone to talk to please come to me, I am more than happy to talk to someone. Soo… Yeah. Eventful day….

Not enough fanfiction!!

Ive fell into a pit of StarTrek X Reader fanfiction but ive ran out of fanfiction!!! Grrrrrh! Now im just re-reading the ones ive already read. Someone please write more StarTrek X Reader fanfiction. Its just so cute and at times sexy and adorable and gaaaaah. :.( Im gunna sit here and sulk because lack of fanfiction. >:(

Bold what’s true about you!

composing-recovery:

You just learned a bit about me:

  • I am a cuddler.
  • I am a morning person. 
  • I am an only child.
  • I am currently in my pajamas.
  • I am currently pregnant.
  • I am left handed. 
  • l am right handed.
  • I am ambidextrous.
  • I am a little shy around another gender. (Hah a little?)
  • I bite my nails. 
  • I can be paranoid at times. 
  • I enjoy country music.
  • I enjoy smoothies.
  • I enjoy talking on the phone.
  • I have a car. 
  • I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
  • I have a hidden talent. 
  • I have a pet.
  • I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” person.
  • I have all my grandparents. 
  • I have been to another country.
  • I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
  • I have caller I.D. on my phone.
  • I have bathed someone. 
  • I have changed a diaper.
  • I have changed a lot over the past year.
  • I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
  • I have had major/minor surgery.
  • I have killed another person.
  • I have had my hair cut within the last week.
  • I have mood swings.
  • I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
  • I have rejected someone before.
  • I like the taste of blood. 
  • I love Michael Jackson.
  • I love sleeping.
  • I love to shop.
  • I own 100 CDs or more.
  • I own and use a library card.
  • I read books for pleasure in my spare time. (Well i try to get into reading.)
  • I sleep a lot during the day. 
  • I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
  • I work at a job that I enjoy.
  • I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
  • I am wearing socks.
  • I am tired.
  • I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
  • I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month. 

I have/had:

  • Finished college.
  • Smoked cigarettes. 
  • Ridden every ride at an amusement park.
  • Collected something really stupid.
  • Gone to a concert.
  • Helped someone.
  • Spun turn tables.
  • Watched four movies in one night.
  • Been broken up with.
  • Taken a college level course. 
  • Been in a car accident.
  • Been in a tornado.
  • Watched someone die.
  • Been to a funeral.
  • Burned yourself.
  • Ran a marathon.
  • Your parents got divorced.
  • Cried yourself to sleep. 
  • Spent over £200 in one day. 
  • Been cheated on.
  • Written a 10 page letter.
  • Had a best friend.
  • Lost someone you loved.
  • Skipped school.
  • Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do.
  • Stolen books from the library.
  • Been in a mental hospital.
  • Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
  • Fired a gun.
  • Been in a school play.
  • Been fired from a job.
  • Taken a lie detector test.
  • Swam with dolphins.
  • Written poetry.
  • Read more than 20 books a year.
  • Gone to Europe. (Dude i live in Europe.)
  • Loved someone you couldn’t have.
  • Used a colouring book over age 12. 
  • Had surgery.
  • Had stitches.
  • Taken a taxi.
  • Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.
  • Had a hamster.
  • Dyed your hair. 
  • Had something pierced. 
  • Gotten straight A’s.
  • Been handcuffed.

My hair is naturally the color:

  • Light brown
  • Medium brown
  • Dark brown
  • Blonde
  • Black
  • Strawberry blonde
  • Multicoloured
  • Ginger

My eyes are:

  • Brown
  • Dark Brown
  • Blue
  • Green
  • Hazel
  • Light brown
  • A combination of things
  • Ice Blue
  • Grey

People sometimes label me as:

  • Slut
  • Girly
  • Ugly 
  • Nerd
  • Other

Some of my biggest fears are: (i have a LOT of fears DX)

  • Spiders/other insects (How bout frickin’ ALL insects!! I can’t even stand lady birds!))
  • Slimy things
  • Dying
  • Doctor/Dentist appointments
  • Hospitals 
  • Needles
  • Disease
  • Being alone in the dark
  • Heights
  • Small spaces 
  • Oceans/large bodies of water
  • Holes
  • Large animals
  • Small animals
  • Open spaces
  • Lightning
  • Tornadoes

I have:

  • A friend with benefits
  • A laptop in my room
  • A television in my room
  • Good grades
  • My own car
  • Re-Married parents
tagged: #yoghourt

I was eating a frube, One of those yogurt in a little tube things. And when i opened it it only opened the corner so i had to eat it sideways and me being the dork i am instantly though STRAWBERRY YOGURT FLUTE!!!

I swear im not insane. Nope not me.

thecaperingcicero:

gothamscraziesunite:

gothamscraziesunite:

thecaperingcicero:

"You are quite welcome. I am…flattered you wished to share such a thing with me."

"Y-You are welcome." She said with a small bow. "You are my friend so of course i shared my voice with you." She said still not looking directly at him.

"I suppose it isn’t much of a compliment seeing as i don’t make friends easily. In the past people just kinda walked around me." She shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Worry? About what?" She asked tilting her head to one side.

"About losing them," he said quickly, avoiding her gaze. "Easier to not get attached, you know? Than risk getting hurt like that again."

Her gaze saddened as she stood to move to sit next to him. Slowly she moved her hand to hold his since she could think of nothing to say, She thought actions would be better.

gothamscraziesunite whispered: ((Combining two of them >:D)) "Kiss me you idiot, I want to be yours."

thecaperingcicero:

Cicero stared at her oddly. “Are you feeling alright?”

"Y-Yes im feeling quite alright, N-Now do i need to repeat myself?" She asked looking up at him with her red cheeked face.

gothamscraziesunite:

thecaperingcicero:

"You are quite welcome. I am…flattered you wished to share such a thing with me."

"Y-You are welcome." She said with a small bow. "You are my friend so of course i shared my voice with you." She said still not looking directly at him.

"I suppose it isn’t much of a compliment seeing as i don’t make friends easily. In the past people just kinda walked around me." She shrugged as if it was no big deal.

"Worry? About what?" She asked tilting her head to one side.

gothamscraziesunite whispered: Selina walked into her and Cicero's shared chamber but stopped short at the mess inside. Beds messy, contract details strewn across the floor, It looked like a hurricane had hit. She made an irritated sound and then turned to the man sitting calmly in a chair reading. Oh how his calmness annoyed her. "Cicero." She said in a low threatening tone. "What is this?" She asked tapping her foot and crossing her arms.

thecaperingcicero:

He calmly marked his place and sat the book in his lap before looking at her, brows raised.

"A bedroom, what do you think it is?" Cicero asked sarcastically. He did not feel very threatened. In fact, her anger was rather amusing.

She growled. “I think its a bedroom which is very messy.” She said increasing her foots tapping and drumming her fingers on her folded arms. “Now what are you going to do about it hmm?”

thecaperingcicero:

 

"You are quite welcome. I am…flattered you wished to share such a thing with me."

"Y-You are welcome." She said with a small bow. "You are my friend so of course i shared my voice with you." She said still not looking directly at him.

"It just seems a bit…surprising. Since you said you do not like to sing for people," he murmured, playing with a lock of his hair.

"I don’t. But you said you’d like to hear my voice so i did. To be honest i wouldn’t have sang in front of anyone else. You are the closest friend i have." She said meekly, blushing again and watching him twirl his hair.

thecaperingcicero:

 

Cicero listened quietly to the foreign tongue, remembering the few times he had heard the odd, lilting accents of elves. Her voice was sweet and clear. 

"That was…lovely," he said quietly.

She shrugged again keeping her head down. “T-Thank you.” She muttered shyly. She moved back over to her bed to relief some of the nervousness and sat with a smile. “Im glad you enjoyed it.”

"You are quite welcome. I am…flattered you wished to share such a thing with me."

"Y-You are welcome." She said with a small bow. "You are my friend so of course i shared my voice with you." She said still not looking directly at him.

thecaperingcicero:

 

"Oh…I suppose I can understand that. Everyone is nervous about something." He shrugged softly.

"Although I should like to hear you sing, I will not ask you to. If it is as personal as you say, I’d rather you simply wish to sing, instead of doing it only because I asked."

She let out a breathy laugh. “No, No i do believe i wish to sing for you.” She chuckled before giving him a little smile. “My elvish is a bit rusty so please excuse me.” She warned before beginning to sing.


Hahren na melana sahlin
Emma ir abelas
Souver’inan isala hamin
Vhenan him dor’felas
In uthenera na revas

Vir sulahn’nehn
Vir dirthera
Vir samahl la numin
Vir lath sa’vunin

She finished with a meek smile and a little shrug awaiting his reaction.

Cicero listened quietly to the foreign tongue, remembering the few times he had heard the odd, lilting accents of elves. Her voice was sweet and clear. 

"That was…lovely," he said quietly.

She shrugged again keeping her head down. “T-Thank you.” She muttered shyly. She moved back over to her bed to relief some of the nervousness and sat with a smile. “Im glad you enjoyed it.”

thecaperingcicero:

 

He quirked a brow. “Oh really? Then howcome you do not sing…ever?”

She chuckled nervously. “I get nervous when i sing in front of people. Singing is quite personal to me as silly as it sounds.” She explained stopping her hands movements in his hair.

"B-But if you wish me to sing i would." She said hastily. "Remember the clan of elves i told you about sometime ago? The ones who plant a tree over their dead and sing them to their eternal sleep?" She asked hoping he’d remember.

"There’s a song they sing for the funeral ceremonies if you wish to hear it."

"Oh…I suppose I can understand that. Everyone is nervous about something." He shrugged softly.

"Although I should like to hear you sing, I will not ask you to. If it is as personal as you say, I’d rather you simply wish to sing, instead of doing it only because I asked."

She let out a breathy laugh. “No, No i do believe i wish to sing for you.” She chuckled before giving him a little smile. “My elvish is a bit rusty so please excuse me.” She warned before beginning to sing.


Hahren na melana sahlin
Emma ir abelas
Souver’inan isala hamin
Vhenan him dor’felas
In uthenera na revas

Vir sulahn’nehn
Vir dirthera
Vir samahl la numin
Vir lath sa’vunin

She finished with a meek smile and a little shrug awaiting his reaction.

thecaperingcicero:

 

He was quite distracted by her actions. “Hmm? Oh, umm anything to do with baking. Fresh bread, cinnamon, vanilla…it goes on. And well my..my mother used to sing to me. When…whenever I was upset.”

Selina blushed at what she was about to say “I-Im quite fond of singing myself.”She was very shy about her singing but she would sing if he wished her too.

He quirked a brow. “Oh really? Then howcome you do not sing…ever?”

She chuckled nervously. “I get nervous when i sing in front of people. Singing is quite personal to me as silly as it sounds.” She explained stopping her hands movements in his hair.

"B-But if you wish me to sing i would." She said hastily. "Remember the clan of elves i told you about sometime ago? The ones who plant a tree over their dead and sing them to their eternal sleep?" She asked hoping he’d remember.

"There’s a song they sing for the funeral ceremonies if you wish to hear it."

thecaperingcicero:

 

"Hm…that’s funny. The things that calmed me were usually smells…or sounds. Weird as that seems." His head tilted back slightly.

"What type of smells or sounds." She asked happy that he was accepting her touch by tilting his head back. Twirling bits of hair around one hand and running through it with the other she watched him curiously.

He was quite distracted by her actions. “Hmm? Oh, umm anything to do with baking. Fresh bread, cinnamon, vanilla…it goes on. And well my..my mother used to sing to me. When…whenever I was upset.”

Selina blushed at what she was about to say “I-Im quite fond of singing myself.”She was very shy about her singing but she would sing if he wished her too.

thecaperingcicero:

 

She laughed at that. “Im not THAT evil.” She continued playing with his hair with a smile. it was very soft. “You’re welcome though.”

"I never know," he said with a soft laugh. His eyes fluttered slightly as her fingers moved through his hair.

While continuing her hands movements through his hair she resumed her soft humming with a grin. Touching soft things had always comforted her.

"So very soft. Quite calming. As a child i used to have a silk handkerchief as a comforter. Soft or smooth things have always comforted me."

"Hm…that’s funny. The things that calmed me were usually smells…or sounds. Weird as that seems." His head tilted back slightly.

"What type of smells or sounds." She asked happy that he was accepting her touch by tilting his head back. Twirling bits of hair around one hand and running through it with the other she watched him curiously.